The Best 21 Questions For a New Relationship

When you’re starting a new relationship, it’s natural to want to learn more about your partner. One fun way to do this is by playing a game of “21 Questions for a New Relationship.” Not only is it a great way to break the ice, but it can also help you get to know each other on a deeper level. 

In this blog post, we will explore some of the best questions to ask when starting a new romantic relationship that you can use to build a stronger connection with your partner from the get-go.

A New Relationship

Embarking on a new relationship is a thrilling yet somewhat nerve-wracking experience. Whether you’re venturing into the dating world for the first time or reentering it, the challenge of laying the foundation for a meaningful connection can be perplexing. 

A new relationship might carry the weight of previous experiences and the desire to make this one distinct and lasting.

The Importance of Asking Questions

Why are these questions so pivotal? Simply put, asking questions is the linchpin of any relationship. It’s like peeling back the layers of who you are, digging into your life stories, and shining a light on what really matters to you.

Especially when you’re just starting out with someone, these questions are like a sneak peek into whether you click and have similar life plans.

We’re not just talking about hobbies and stuff here. Getting into the nitty-gritty of your shared values is a big deal. Values are like the rock-solid foundation of a relationship, sticking around way longer than your latest Netflix binge or favorite snack. They let you grow together while staying rooted in the things that really matter. So, these questions aren’t just about scratching the surface – they’re about building a deep understanding, setting the stage for growth, harmony, and a lasting connection.

21 Questions to Ask When Starting a Romantic Relationship

1. What inspired you to pursue your current career or field of study?

This question is important because it helps you understand your partner’s motivations and aspirations.

Their career or field of study can reveal a lot about their interests, values, and long-term goals. 

21 questions for a new relationship

By learning about what inspired them, you gain insight into their passions and what drives them

It can also provide an opportunity to discuss their professional journey and any challenges they may have faced along the way, allowing you to deepen your understanding of their character and determination.

2. What’s your favorite book or movie, and why?

Asking about your partner’s favorite book or movie can reveal their taste, preferences, and interests

From this question, you can gain valuable insights into their personality, values, and even their sense of humor. 

21 questions for a new relationship

Moreover, sharing favorite books or movies can spark conversations about common interests, shared experiences, and personal reflections. 

Asking about their storytelling preferences and the themes that captivate them opens up a door for deeper connection on both cultural and emotional levels

It’s a chance to dive into the stories that move them, understand what resonates with them personally, and find common ground in the narratives that touch their hearts.

3. Do you have any hobbies or passions outside of work or school?

This question is important because it helps you understand your partner’s interests and how they like to spend their leisure time. 

Hobbies and passions usually provide a sense of fulfillment, relaxation, and personal growth outside of professional or academic pursuits. 

21 questions for a new relationship

Therefore, by exploring their hobbies, you can discover shared activities or new experiences to enjoy together

Additionally, understanding their passions can give you insight into what brings them joy and how they prioritize their personal well-being.

4. What’s the best trip you’ve ever taken and why?

Travel experiences often leave lasting impressions and memories.

When you ask your partner about their best trip, you’re not just inquiring about their favorite vacation. 

It’s an invitation for them to share their travel preferences, the amazing adventures they’ve had, and the destinations that hold a special place in their heart.

21 questions for a new relationship

Their response can tell you so much about their sense of adventure, their curiosity about different cultures, and their willingness to embrace new experiences. It’s a window into their soul, really.

And you know what? 

It’s not just a one-time conversation. 

By discussing their best trip, you can also dive into future travel plans and dream about potential destinations you can explore together. 

It creates this exciting atmosphere of shared exploration and anticipation. 

So, where’s the best trip you’ve ever taken? 

And where do you dream of going next? 

Let’s fuel our wanderlust and plan some amazing adventures together!

5. Are you close with your family? Tell me more about them.

Family holds a special place in our lives, influencing who we are and what we believe in. 

When you ask your partner about their relationship with their family, you’re delving into their unique background, upbringing, and the dynamics that have shaped them.

21 questions for a new relationship

It’s like peering into their heart and understanding the emotional connections they have, the support they receive, and the value they place on family bonds. 

It’s a glimpse into their world.

But there’s more. 

This question opens the door to beautiful conversations about family traditions, the values they hold dear, and the expectations they have. 

By sharing these stories, you both gain a deeper understanding of each other’s backgrounds and the dynamics that have molded you into the individuals you are today.

So, tell me about your family. 

What are the traditions you cherish? 

What values have they instilled in you? 

6. How do you like to spend your weekends or free time?

Weekends and free time are precious moments where we get to unwind and do the things that bring us joy. 

When you ask your partner about their weekends or how they spend their free time, you’re peering into their world and getting a glimpse of their lifestyle and priorities.

Do they prefer to relax and recharge their batteries? 

Are they social butterflies who love spending time with friends and loved ones? 

Or do they have specific activities that they’re passionate about?

21 questions for a new relationship

When you share your own weekend routines, you create an opportunity to find common ground and discover shared interests. 

Maybe you both love hiking and can plan a future adventure together. 

Or perhaps you enjoy cozy movie nights and can plan a relaxing evening in.

Understanding how your partner balances their personal time with work or other commitments is also important. 

It gives you insights into their work-life balance and overall well-being. 

Do they prioritize self-care and make time for themselves? 

Are they able to find a healthy equilibrium between their personal and professional lives?

7. What’s your favorite food or cuisine?

Food is more than just nourishment—it’s a reflection of our identity, culture, and personal tastes. 

When you ask your partner about their favorite food or cuisine, you’re delving into a world of culinary delights and discovering more about their unique palate and cultural background.

Imagine the joy of exploring different cuisines together, savoring new flavors, and embarking on culinary adventures. 

21 questions for a new relationship

Sharing meals becomes more than just satisfying our hunger; it becomes an opportunity to bond, create memories, and deepen our connection.

Understanding your partner’s food preferences also opens the door to planning exciting dates or surprising them with thoughtful culinary experiences

Maybe you can recreate their favorite dish at home or take them to a restaurant that specializes in their preferred cuisine. 

The possibilities are endless when it comes to delighting their taste buds and showing them how much you care.

8. Do you have any pets, or would you like to have any in the future?

Pets have a unique way of capturing our hearts and becoming cherished members of our families. 

They bring joy and companionship and even teach us valuable life lessons. 

When you ask your partner about their pets or their desire to have them in the future, you’re uncovering a deeper understanding of their affection for animals and their nurturing qualities.

Exploring their love for pets opens up conversations about their caring nature, sense of responsibility, and capacity for empathy
 21 questions for a new relationship

You’ll gain insights into their preferences for companionship and their potential compatibility with your own desires for pet ownership.

Discussing pets can be an exciting journey as you envision the possibility of integrating furry friends into your lives together. 

Perhaps you’ll dream about adopting a lovable dog who will join you on adventurous walks, or maybe you’ll envision a cozy home filled with the purrs of a playful cat. 

By sharing your aspirations and desires for pet companionship, you’ll have the chance to align your interests and create a vision for a shared future filled with the love and joy that only pets can bring.

So, tell me, have you had any pets in the past, or do you dream of having them in the future?

9. What’s your favorite way to relax or unwind after a long day?

In our fast-paced world, finding ways to relax and unwind is crucial for maintaining our well-being. 

We all have our unique methods of finding that much-needed peace and rejuvenation. 

By asking your partner how they like to relax and unwind, you’ll gain valuable insights into their self-care practices and how they manage stress.

Their answer will reveal the activities or rituals that bring them comfort and help them recharge

It’s a chance to understand what truly nurtures their soul and allows them to find balance in their busy lives. 

21 questions for a new relationship

Whether it’s curling up with a good book, going for a long walk in nature, or simply taking time to meditate, their self-care practices will show you what matters most to them.

Moreover, discussing relaxation techniques opens the door to exploring ways in which you can support each other in finding solace and relieving stress. 

Maybe you can create a cozy space together for unwinding, or maybe you can plan activities that bring mutual relaxation and enjoyment

This open and understanding approach to self-care fosters a nurturing dynamic in your relationship, where both partners prioritize each other’s well-being.

10. Do you like stability, or do you prefer change?

This question takes us on a journey to explore your partner’s preferences when it comes to stability and change. 

It’s an opportunity to delve into their comfort zones and discover what makes them feel at ease or excited.

Understanding how your partner views stability and change can be incredibly helpful in aligning your expectations and communication styles within the relationship. 

It’s like finding a common language that allows both of you to thrive together.

Moreover, this question serves as a foundation for discussing important aspects of your future, such as career aspirations, lifestyle choices, and even potential plans for the long run. 

It ensures that you’re on the same page when it comes to the level of stability or flexibility you desire.

21 questions for a new relationship

Why are these questions so important, you may ask? 

Well, they have the power to transform your conversations into something meaningful and deep

Instead of sticking to the surface, you get to explore the depths of your partner’s background, interests, values, and aspirations. 

It’s like peeling back layers and truly getting to know the essence of who they are.

And the best part? It’s a two-way street. 

By actively listening to their responses and sharing your own thoughts, you create a safe space for vulnerability and growth. 

This process helps build a solid foundation for a fulfilling and lasting relationship where both partners feel seen, understood, and supported.

11. Have you ever had a life-changing experience? What was it?

Asking about life-changing experiences is like inviting your partner to share the chapters of their life that have shaped them in profound ways. 

It’s an invitation to open up about those pivotal moments that have left a lasting impact.

These experiences can vary greatly, from personal triumphs and accomplishments to overcoming tough challenges or even encountering a transformative event that shifted their entire outlook on life. 

21 questions for a new relationship

Each story is unique and carries valuable insights into who they are today.

By asking this question, you create a space for vulnerability and deeper conversations to unfold. 

It’s a chance to connect on a deeper level, to understand the inner workings of their resilience and personal growth. 

You get a glimpse into the values and beliefs that they hold close to their heart.

12. What are your top three values in life?

Values are like the compass that guides our lives, influencing the choices we make and the paths we take. 

When you ask your partner about their top three values, you’re tapping into the core of who they are and what matters most to them.

This question opens up a window into their inner world, revealing what they hold dear and how they prioritize different aspects of life

21 questions for a new relationship

It’s a chance to understand their character, their principles, and the driving forces behind their decision-making process.

Moreover, exploring each other’s values can help you assess compatibility and alignment. Are your values in sync? 

Do they complement each other? 

Celebrate shared values and also navigate potential areas of growth and compromise within the relationship.

13. Do you prefer spending time alone or with others?

We all have our own unique ways of finding our inner balance and connecting with others

Some of us thrive in the warmth of social interactions, while others cherish the solace of solitude. 

When you ask your partner about their preferences for alone time or socializing, you’re delving into the delicate dance between personal space and companionship in your relationship.

It’s an opportunity to understand and honor their need for solitude, allowing them the freedom to recharge and reflect. 

21 questions for a new relationship

At the same time, it’s a chance to embrace their desire for social interactions, fostering a sense of togetherness and shared experiences.

By discussing these preferences openly and honestly, you can create a safe space for open communication and mutual understanding

It’s a chance to navigate the delicate balance of alone time and companionship, ensuring that both of your needs are met and respected.

So, how does your partner find their equilibrium? 

Do they cherish moments of solitude to find inner peace, or do they seek the joy of social connections to feel alive? 

And how can you support each other in maintaining a healthy balance between personal space and togetherness?

14. What’s your favorite music genre or band?

Music has a special way of touching our hearts and connecting us to different emotions and experiences. 

Music accompanies us through life, and our favorite genres and bands can reveal a lot about who we are.

When you ask your partner about their favorite music genres or bands, you’re opening the door to a world of shared melodies and rhythms. 

Imagine going to concerts together, getting lost in the magic of live performances, or even creating personalized playlists that capture the essence of your relationship.

21 questions for a new relationship

Exploring each other’s musical tastes not only sparks interesting conversations but also presents opportunities for discovery. 

You might introduce your partner to a new artist or song that resonates deeply with them, or they might share a hidden gem that becomes your new favorite. 

It’s a chance to expand your musical horizons and create beautiful memories together

15. How important are your friends to you? Do you prefer doing things only with your partner?

Friendships add joy and support to our lives. 

When you ask your partner about their perspective on friendships and social connections, you’re peering into the beautiful tapestry that shapes their world.

Understanding their view on friendships helps you appreciate the significance of these connections in their life. 

21 questions for a new relationship

Are they someone who thrives in a bustling social circle, always seeking shared adventures? 

Or do they cherish their close-knit group of friends, valuing deep and meaningful connections?

By delving into this topic, you gain insights into their social needs and preferences. 

Do they enjoy group activities and gatherings, or do they prioritize one-on-one time with their friends? 

Understanding their social inclinations allows you to find a balance that respects their individuality while also fostering a sense of togetherness in your relationship.

Moreover, discussing your partner’s capacity for maintaining healthy friendships outside of your romantic partnership is an opportunity to celebrate their ability to cultivate meaningful connections

It opens up discussions about boundaries, support systems, and the ways in which you can both nurture a well-rounded social life together.

16. What are your thoughts on marriage and children?

Marriage and children are like chapters in the book of life, filled with dreams, hopes, and endless possibilities. 

When you ask your partner about their thoughts on these meaningful topics, you’re diving into the depths of their heart and exploring what they envision for the future.

Asking about their thoughts on marriage and children allows you to see if you have shared desires, expectations, and long-term goals. 

21 questions for a new relationship

It’s a chance to understand their deepest wishes and determine if your visions align. 

Do they envision a future of exchanging vows and building a life together? 

Do you both want to be childfree?

Or are they more excited about the idea of little feet running around the house? 

Or perhaps their dreams steer towards different paths?

These conversations open the door to understanding each other’s perspectives, hopes, and dreams and allow you to navigate the potential future trajectory of your relationship

They provide an opportunity to gauge compatibility and ensure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to these significant life milestones.

Moreover, discussing marriage and children creates a space for conversations about commitment, family planning, and the level of importance placed on these aspects within your relationship. 

Explore your shared values, priorities, and your future together

17. What do you value most in a partner?

Knowing what your partner truly values in a relationship is essential.

It’s an invitation to delve into their deepest desires and explore the qualities they hold dear in a partner.

By asking about their top priorities in a partner, you’re embarking on a journey of understanding their expectations, hopes, and dreams for a truly fulfilling connection. 

21 questions for a new relationship

Is trust the cornerstone of their ideal relationship? 

Do they crave open and heartfelt communication as a bridge between souls? 

Or perhaps they yearn for unconditional support and shared passions?

These discussions create a space for genuine and transparent conversations about the dynamics of your relationship. 

It’s a chance to evaluate your compatibility and see where your visions align or where you may need to bridge the gaps. 

Together, you can explore the qualities that both of you prioritize and work hand in hand to cultivate a strong and harmonious bond.

18. What’s your biggest fear in life?

When we open up about our fears, we invite our partner into the depths of our souls, forging a bond of trust and vulnerability that goes beyond the surface. 

It’s in those moments of sharing our deepest anxieties that true emotional intimacy blossoms.

By asking your partner about their biggest fear, you’re extending an empathetic hand, ready to hold space for their vulnerabilities and concerns. 

21 questions for a new relationship

By doing that, you get to understand the shadows that may linger in their heart and mind and offer the warmth of your support and reassurance.

Through these conversations, you create a safe haven where their fears can be acknowledged and understood. 

You become a source of comfort, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles. 

Together, you can explore avenues for personal growth and triumph over challenges as you navigate the journey of life side by side.

19. What are your long-term goals?

Have you ever sat down with your partner and shared your dreams for the future? 

It’s in those conversations that you catch a glimpse of the fire that burns within their soul, the aspirations that fuel their every step.

When you ask your partner about their long-term goals, you’re inviting them to paint a vivid picture of the life they envision

It’s a chance to understand their dreams, their ambitions, and the path they wish to carve for themselves.

21 questions for a new relationship

By delving into their long-term goals, you also get an opportunity to see if your own dreams align with theirs. 

Are you both heading in a similar direction? 

Can you cheer each other on as you pursue your individual aspirations?

But it doesn’t stop there. 

This question opens the door for collaboration, for finding common ground in your dreams and working together to make them a reality. 

It’s about supporting each other, lifting each other up, and becoming a team that conquers challenges and celebrates triumphs side by side.

20. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Have you ever asked your partner what they love most about themselves? This question invites them to dive into the depths of self-reflection and appreciation.

When you ask them about their favorite thing about themselves, you’re giving them a chance to shine a spotlight on their own unique qualities. 

It’s a beautiful moment of self-love and celebration, where they can acknowledge the incredible person they are.

21 questions for a new relationship

As they share their favorite thing, you’ll witness a newfound sense of confidence and self-awareness. It’s a reminder that they value themselves and recognize their own worth.

But it’s more than just a moment of self-praise. 

Their answer holds clues to their self-perception, strengths, and the areas they prioritize in their personal growth journey. 

You’ll gain a deeper understanding of what they hold dear and what fuels their drive to become an even better version of themselves.

21. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try?

Do you know what’s something that your partner has always wanted to try? 

This question opens up a world of dreams, passions, and thrilling adventures.

When you ask them about their deepest desires, you’re giving them the opportunity to reveal their wildest aspirations and their hunger for excitement. 

It’s a moment where their eyes light up with anticipation, and their heart beats with a sense of possibility.

21 questions for a new relationship

But it’s not just about them sharing their dreams—it’s about you becoming their biggest cheerleader. 

It’s about supporting them wholeheartedly as they chase after those desires and maybe even joining them on those exhilarating new journeys. 

Imagine the thrill of embarking on those experiences together, hand in hand, creating unforgettable memories that will forever be etched in your hearts.

This question ignites a spirit of open-mindedness, a willingness to explore uncharted territories, and a shared sense of adventure. 

Break free from the ordinary and embrace the extraordinary. 

Create a bond that can withstand any challenge because you’re both daring enough to pursue your dreams side by side.

Additional Questions

In case you want to make the game last a bit longer, here are a few bonus questions to add to your list:

  • What’s a skill you’ve always wanted to learn?
  • How do you handle conflicts in a relationship?
  • What’s your idea of the perfect date night?
  • What’s a dream destination you’ve always wanted to visit?
  • If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?
  • What’s a childhood memory that always brings a smile to your face?
  • Do you have any unique or quirky talents or hobbies?
  • How do you envision your life in five years?
  • What’s your favorite way to express love and affection?
  • If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
  • What’s a lesson you’ve learned from a past relationship?
  • What’s a movie or TV show that you can watch over and over again?
  • If you could have any superpower, what would it be and how would you use it?
  • What’s a small daily habit that brings you joy?


In the early stages of a relationship, investing time and effort into understanding your partner is essential. 
The game “21 Questions” provides an enjoyable and insightful way to explore each other’s backgrounds, preferences, goals, and fears. 
By asking these thought-provoking questions, you establish open lines of communication, foster vulnerability, and deepen your connection. 
Remember, the key to a successful relationship lies in actively listening, showing genuine interest, and using these conversations as a springboard for continued growth and understanding. 
So, grab a seat, ask away, and embark on a journey of discovery with your partner.