Let’s face it, as we grow older, more and more of our friends are popping out little humans left and right. It can be tough to keep up with them and their new bundle of joys. I mean, have you ever tried to have a conversation with a toddler? It’s like trying to negotiate with a tiny dictator.
Suddenly, your once-party-loving friend is now deep in the trenches of nap time schedules and diaper changes.
And before you know it, you’re left wondering if you’ll ever have another game night or brunch together again.
But fear not, my childfree friends! With a little bit of effort and understanding, you can keep those relationships going strong.
Sure, it might require some creativity and flexibility on both sides, but it’s totally doable.
Just because they’re busy with their little ones doesn’t mean they don’t still want to hang out with you.
So, next time you’re planning a get-together, suggest a kid-friendly activity or location or either try to find a time where you can spend some time alone with your friend.
And if you’re feeling left out of their new-parent world, don’t be afraid to ask questions and show interest in their new adventures.
Who knows, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about raising a tiny human.
In the end, the most important thing is to remember that friendships take effort, but they’re always worth it.
Maintaining Friendships with Parents
When some of my best friends started telling me they were pregnant, I couldn’t believe it.
Let me start by saying that you should not stop seeing your friends because they have children. After some time (yes, I needed to digest it), I understood that it could be gratifying to be a part of your friend’s journey into parenthood and to watch them grow as a parent.
However, experience has taught me that it can be difficult to maintain close relationships with friends who have children as they enter this new stage of life.
But, even though it might be difficult, it’s essential to understand that it’s normal for friendships to change when one person has a child, but there are still ways to keep the relationship strong.
Understanding the Parent-Child Relationship
Before you can understand how to maintain relationships with friends with children, you must understand the parent-child relationship.
The parent-child relationship is unique, and it can take A LOT of energy and dedication to make it work.
Parents need to ensure their children are cared for and happy, which can often be a full-time job. This obviously can make it difficult for parents to find the time to socialize with friends.
They may have less time to spend with their friends than they used to, which can be frustrating. So yeah, you will probably not be one of their priorities anymore, and that’s OK!
Furthermore, whenever they get time for themselves, your friends will also need to focus on their needs and desires. So be easy on them if they don’t answer your messages.
It can be hard to accept that your friend’s priorities have changed, but it’s essential to understand that they are still the same person you have always known.
Reasons Why Friendships with Parents May Change
There are a few reasons why friendships with parents may change.
One of the most common ones is that parents only have a little time to spend with their friends. This can be especially true for new parents trying to adjust to their new roles.
They may feel overwhelmed and exhausted, and they may not have the energy to keep up with their friendships as they used to.
Another reason why friendships may change is that people who have children may have different interests than their friends. They might be more focused on their children and their parenting duties instead of thinking of going out or traveling.
This can make it especially difficult to find common ground and maintain a close bond (it is for me).
Finally, you may feel like you are being replaced by the child (this might sound childish, but it does happen).
This can be especially true if the parent and child have a strong bond. It’s important to remember that your friends still care about and value their friendship with you, and they still want to spend time with you.
Tips for Staying in Touch with Friends Who Have Kids
There are a few tips for staying in touch with friends with kids.
Reach Out to Your Friends to Let Them Know You Are Thinking of Them
One of the most important things you can do is reach out to your friends and let them know you’re thinking about them.
It can be challenging for parents to find the time to socialize, so it’s vital to make an effort to stay connected. This can be as simple as a quick text or phone call to say hello and catch up.
Offer to Help!
It can also be helpful to offer to help out with the kids if your friend needs it. You can contribute to babysitting for a few hours so your friend can take some time for themselves (I’m sure they would greatly appreciate that).
However, don’t feel obliged to do so. If you are like me and you don’t like children, move on to the next tip.
Be Patient and Understanding
You can also try understanding your friend’s new role as a parent. Parenting can be stressful and exhausting, so it’s essential to be understanding and supportive.
Be patient and understanding if your friend needs to cancel plans or can’t make it out as often as they’d like. This can go a long way in maintaining a solid friendship.
Plan fun activities with them
Finally, you can plan activities that you both enjoy. This can be anything from a coffee or a movie night to a day trip or weekend getaway.
If your friends cannot leave their kids, you can also plan something fun to do with your friends and their children.
I know this last part might not appeal to many of you; however, remember that you are doing this to maintain the relationship with your friends.
You are doing this for the greater good.
If your friendship with them is important to you, be patient and spend some time with them and their children. It’s crucial to ensure that both parties have fun and that the activities are tailored to your interests.
Give Your Friends Who Have Children a Hand
Finding the time to socialize with family and friends can be a challenge for people who have children (once again, this reminds me why I chose not to have any).
However, as a friend, you could remind them that it’s important to make sure they take some time for themselves.
Be there whenever they need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on.
Be supportive.
It’s important to remember, though, that you are not the one who decided to have children; therefore, you shouldn’t take the burden of it.
You can offer to help when they ask for it but don’t feel obliged to start babysitting your friends’ children whenever they need time off. This is not how it works!
Understanding Your Own Needs for Socializing
To maintain good relationships with friends with children, you should understand your needs for socializing.
It can be easy to feel neglected or left out when your friends have children, but it’s important to remember that your needs are still valid.
Make sure to take some time for yourself, and don’t be afraid of letting them know if you feel left out.
Just verbalizing it might make you feel way better, and you will most likely see that your friends understand how you feel and might even accept that they have been neglecting you a bit due to their children. This can lead to very positive changes!
It can also be helpful to take some time to reflect on your own relationships. Are there any relationships that have changed since your friends have had children? Are there any relationships that have become stronger?
Understanding your own needs and relationships can help you stay connected with your friends who have children.
Conclusion
In conclusion, maintaining strong relationships with friends who have children may present challenges, but with understanding and effort, it can be a rewarding experience.
By planning activities that involve the entire family, you can demonstrate your genuine interest in their children and strengthen your bond with your friends.
Additionally, offering assistance with the kids when needed, especially if you enjoy being around children, can further solidify your support and care for your friend.
Remember to reach out to your friend, acknowledge their new role as a parent, and continue planning enjoyable activities that cater to both of your interests.
With these considerations in mind, you can navigate and nurture friendships while accommodating the joys and responsibilities of parenthood.
